So my goal in the new year is to bring some new topics to this site along with some new poems and what better way to do that than to refer you to some of my old blogs on Myspace. Now I know what you're thinking, Myspace is still a functioning site? And surprisingly the answer is yes. So go to my page (I even made it easy to do all you have do is click on the link and you don't even have to log in) and read some of my blogs from 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 & 2009. And while you're at it check out my other Myspace pages here and here and also check out my reverbnation page. But really I just wanted to say I'm going to write about the things that's important to me, music, poetry, sports, music, poetry, politics, music poetry, random nonsense, music and poetry. So for this entry I am posting a poem I wrote probably two or three years ago and I came across it as I was writing yesterday and thought I would share. It doesn't have a title but when I ran across it, it speaks to how I'm feeling at the moment and what I'm dealing with.
I have known loves like Langston Hughes has known rivers
The Euphrates, the Nile
I have known sorrows like the Mississippi
Love is ever changing but always staying the same
And I'm not equipped to handle this.
I mean I could handle this if
I never met her or I met her and she wasn't my other half
But I did and she is and, I'm supposed to be a man about it.
Does that mean I can't cry when my whole is divided by half and
I don't want to be broken again.
What I mean to say is I don't want to be open again,
Open to the possibility of being half the man I've grown to be
I've grown to see that it is easier to say we are broken than
I'm ill-repaired, I'm not together, but I'm getting there
Just like its easier to leave than to have an honest conversation
Because honestly, how many of us can be truthful with ourselves much less another person?
How much less of another person do we absorb before we begin to realize they are no good for us?
I'm guilty too, guilty of what all hopeless romantics are guilty of
Giving so much of ourselves that we've forgotten the things we want and need, Guilty of being in the need of love, guilty of loving someone who doesn't love us But love is ever changing and always staying the same,
until then I'll be waiting for her to come my way again
I have known sorrows like the Mississippi
Love is ever changing but always staying the same
And I'm not equipped to handle this.
I mean I could handle this if
I never met her or I met her and she wasn't my other half
But I did and she is and, I'm supposed to be a man about it.
Does that mean I can't cry when my whole is divided by half and
I don't want to be broken again.
What I mean to say is I don't want to be open again,
Open to the possibility of being half the man I've grown to be
I've grown to see that it is easier to say we are broken than
I'm ill-repaired, I'm not together, but I'm getting there
Just like its easier to leave than to have an honest conversation
Because honestly, how many of us can be truthful with ourselves much less another person?
How much less of another person do we absorb before we begin to realize they are no good for us?
I'm guilty too, guilty of what all hopeless romantics are guilty of
Giving so much of ourselves that we've forgotten the things we want and need, Guilty of being in the need of love, guilty of loving someone who doesn't love us But love is ever changing and always staying the same,
until then I'll be waiting for her to come my way again
Hope you guys enjoy.
Jamal, you never seize to amaze me. You are ssoooo talented, it's crazy. With that said, this was deep. I use the word "deep" because it is so true...for many people, including myself. I have not been in many relationships, but I can appreciate and relate to your "Truth" (lol). Every relationship is a learning experience. If the outcome is not what we expected, it doesn't mean we cannot take something away from it. Positive or negative, we should be able to, or be open to, learn from any relationship. How much of ourselves do we give before we are susceptible to becoming or feeling "ill-repaired?" Well, I beleive that depends on how well we know ourselves. People only treat us the way we allow them to. We should know what is unacceptable and what we are willing to overlook. The question is, how blind are we allowing ourselves to become? If we do not allow ourselves to be open and receptive to love after an experience that has left us feeling "broken," then we might just miss out on the "glue" to help repair ourselves...the right person, not the perfect person. It's hard loving someone that does not share the same feelings and desires after we have invested so much of ourselves. We should not get discouraged though if we find that it's not reciprocated. Instead, try to embrace the fact that this person was honored to have gotten to know us for who we are. Accept that this persn was just not the one. We make the choice on how we should move forward. So, keep waiting for her JC...she'll be there when you least expect it. "Love is ever changing and always staying the same." Love is ever changing because no heart is perfect. Love is always staying the same because it is unconditional. I'm definitely going to try and keep up with your blogs (and check out your past blogs as well). Keep up the GREAT work JC...I look forward to your CD's (hint, hint).
ReplyDeleteOOPS! I wanted to post this just for the record...I spelled **believe** wrong (twice). How embarrassing, but I am aware. I was typing faster than I thought and...please take note of the time...it was 4:33am. Need I say more? LOL!!
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