Re:Evolution of Love The Track List

This post is for those who have been waiting and for those who purchased the preview album at the Slam tonight. Its also for those who just want to know what I've been doing. Also, this may make me actually put out the full version. We'll call this the rough draft.
1) Intro - What is Love by Denise Music by: J. Truth
2) Love Poem #9 Music by: J. Truth
3) Highlight Music by: J. Truth
4) Silhouette Woman Music by: J. Truth
5) The Motto Music by: S. Carter
6) Fighting Temptation Music by: J. Truth
7) The Feeling Music by: J. Truth
8) Satisfaction Music by: J. Truth
9) Bluz Speaks Music by: J. Truth
10) Stalker Poem
11) Feels Like Music by: J. Truth
12) This is Love by Twint4k Music by: Beats by Jake
13) Sinking 
14) Self Portrait Music by: J. Truth
15) Beauty Music by: J. Truth
16) Thankful Music by: J. Truth

Game Changer

So its been way too long since I've been here and I plan to be here more often but here is a little something I've been working on how you enjoy and let me know what you think

I wanna be next to you like sunsets on Sundays, some days I just like to stare at you, but not in a weird way, in a mind clearing way, I'm admiring one of God's hidden masterpieces

You're the Mona Lisa of my mind, a world wonder no wonder why you move masses when you walk by and rivers still rise to bow in your presence, your imperfections are still perfected

You show me truth when you get naked and I still appreciate it
I still appreciate that life lessons don't lessen the glow of your aura and how your words still flow like water out of my mouth and into existence

And your persistence at being better today than you were yesterday inspire change that can be believed in

All politics aside you're a game changer and I don't need a thousand words to tell you why, they often get in the way,

Like something in the way of things, like similes, like like as, as if it changes everything

You've changed everything from the way I phrase words to the way I say your name. This is what makes you a queen like Sheba, like Cleopatra, like Hatshetsup

When The Limelight Is Not Enough

New blog, old poem. Enjoy!

We all want our moment in the limelight
Our time to shine,
That point we go from ordinary human beings
to extraordinary human beings
But what about the grind
The come up
The blood, sweat and tears
The sacrifices
The disappointments
The point when giving up seems smarter and safer
Yet we still keep going
Because the limelight's just not enough
We tough out criticism
Appreciate applause
Know the road less traveled is our path
Because the main way is the cause
For the fall of men and women alike whose main flaw was
They only wanted the limelight
They didn't dare to think different
Didn't dare to act different
Didn't care that they were clones
Scarecrows with no heart they just knew they had to get on
False hopes of fulfillment from the shine
But the time has come
Because we are here
To help you see clearly now the bling is gone
No more minstrel show niggas
No more just for show bitches
we deal with the real so if its artificial let it be
And maybe, just maybe
If we push past fears and insecurities
Intooo happiness and our dreams
We will see what it means
When the Limelight's Not Enough

The Edge

“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.”


― Audre Lorde

So the other night I was watching "The Best Man" because I don't have cable and I didn't have anything else to watch and near the climax of the movie the character Merch said this quote speaking to Candy. That is neither here nor there just providing some context on why I chose this quote.
 
     Anyway, the past few months have been rather rough for me if I should say so myself. In addition to being laid off again I have been unable to find any employment, I've had to have THE TALK with my son, I've barely made rent each of the last two months and I had to pawn my keyboard. Now I can't say that its been all bad because I was apart of an awesome show Thanks to Michael Clayton you can check the reviews here. I felt like I had a pretty good performance and want to do more. That was a step in the right direction and I will be attending a songwriting workshop next Saturday and I am in a grant writing class with my sister so I am definitely in the ebb and flow of things. However, I am just feeling like I'm on a path that leads nowhere. I feel so on edge lately like I cannot do anything right financially and I keep digging myself deeper into a hole trying to get out of the hole. Its crazy. I've been looking for people to give me their honest assessment of what love is and means to them for my Re:Evolution project which I will be finished with in a matter of weeks. My friends/business partners have started an entertainment website called SoundWavez Studios its your one stop shop for all your production needs. We will soon be opening a full service studio on the beach. In the meantime click on the link and get some free music.
 
       I've always known this road I travel was never meant to be easy or paved with glitter and gold, but I am finding myself losing my faith and determination and motivation. I'm hoping that by writing I will keep the willpower I need to make it to my destination. I'm learning that I can't do it all by myself and that I need people in my corner and I need to take advantage of the connections I've made and just build with those who are on a similar journey as I am. Its difficult because I feel like on  the one hand I should already be there and on the other that I don't belong. Still, everyday I thank God for the breath that I take, apologize for the ones that I waste. Until next time, keep doing what you're doing and keep moving towards your goals and dreams no matter what they may be or how far away they may seem. It's never too late until you stop trying.
 
Peace, J

Self - Portrait

Here is my latest video doing a poem:



Hope you enjoy thanks for watching leave a comment.

8 of 30 More Poems for Me

I'm so imprisoned by my feelings I can't escape their hold. They have me under lock and key, unable to express myself truly. So I hold back or better yet censor how I feel in some misguided attempt to protect myself from falling again and possibly looking foolish again. So I maintain that I have no room for love, no time to be loved, No desire to be reacquainted with how it feels to be desired.

I play make believe with other's feelings, believing if I have no feelings, theirs will fade away. I say I'm so faded, jaded by the past, only holding on to it so I won't be forced into an unfamiliar future. Say my issues with love are financial, like I lost a fortunate on a love tip that proved to be nothing more than Cupid's drunken thoughts of how if you tell her, she will notice.

Don't mind me right now, I'm imprisoned by my feelings. Won't allow myself the satisfaction of satisfying needs, addicted to being needed so bad I'm needy. Only to say I don't need you because misery loves company so I take your hand, get you on my level by being everything you say you need only to say I can't be the one to fulfill your desires.

Write my fears in love poems, to hide all I think may make you like my words. My solitude strangles me. I break free of my feelings only to feel the need to go back to them like I'm institutionalized.

I internalize my feelings, express them as passionate poetry, speak plainly so there's no reason to read between the lines. I tell others to believe in the power of love, I'm so hypocritical, put myself in critical condition, like life support will make love easier to bear.

But I'm just a prisoner of my feelings, keep them bottled up like they're in solitary confinement. Trying to expunge myself of them like they are on consignment. Just trying to feel again, knowing that I'm going places but back isn't one of them.

More Poems 7/30

I haven't been as committed to the poems as I should be. Various reasons could be made as to why I haven't kept up well but I won't get into that. I'll just post some poems.

                                                        A Thousand Kisses

I'll kiss you anywhere,
Even there, behind your ear
Listening to your body's desires
Mood music moves inhibitions to the back of our minds
So I'll place kisses down your spine to send messages of lust
Through your neurons
A kiss on your neck, soft enough to represent
The Gentle nature of my intent.

I'll intentionally kiss your lips,
To get a full taste of your sweet embrace
Syncopate my lips to the gyration of your hips
Make me tongue tied, while I suck your lips dry
I can keep up with your pace

I'll kiss your inner thighs,
From back of knee to inner crease
Cause you know how much of a tease I like to be
I'll kiss your gift-bearing hips,
Make this my second favorite place
To the small of your back
Because I like to make you wait

I'll kiss your rib cage,
One for each rib I gave
For us to be made whole
I'll call this your body's appreciation
I'm going to show my dedication for learning your wants
Like the back of my hand

I kiss the back of your hand to represent your royalty
Call you Queen because I am serving thee
So I place kisses at your feet
Run my tongue up your mid-section
Because I know it makes you smile

I'll make sure to make you laugh often
Since you said it turns you on
Like when I caress your breasts

I know I'm supposed to be using my lips but
I can't keep my hands off of you
Lady, I'll kiss your cheeks like we are best friends
Kiss your collar bone to make amends

A kiss to your forehead to signal the night just begins

Yes I'll kiss you anywhere
Especially there
And There

30 Poems, 30 Days - Day 6

Gorgeous look, softly gazing my way

Her eyes melt my ice box, stone-faced barrier

Her smile, reminds me beauty is only skin deep

So I get lost in those soul searching windows

Searching for her truth,

Wondering if she's knowingly doing this to me

Or if it's accidental like an F sharp

In the middle of an E minor chord,

Her theory is undeniable

She still doesn't know,

I still haven't told her she's my dream girl

But somehow we're still here in this moment.

She brushes her hair from her face so gently

I'm wondering if she's doing this to me on purpose

Like my purpose for being is

To be mesmerized by her subtleties

She subtly moves in a direction closer to me

And my breath escapes me

She smells like angels ought to smell

Everything about her is perfect, yet I know she isn't

She moves like the daughter of the wind

And in an instant

She's gone with the wind

Nothing more than a memory

And a reminder

That time waits for no man

So if you're going to do it,

Its best to do it now

30 Poems, 30 Days - Day 5

Beauty Within

I want to make you feel beautiful

Like portraits of the abstract

Like poetry in its purity

Like seeing God in children

Beautiful,

Like stars being aligned,

Your magnetic pull makes my sun

Orbit around your Earth

Causing shifts in my planetary design

Your waves crash

My sea shores reminding me

You're forever engraved

In my memory banks

And you make me rise like high tide

I want you to feel sexy,

Like the way you sip wine

Or how your clothes fit so fine

I want you to feel sexy

Like unspoken lines,

Or the right compliment at the right time

When I say I want to see you naked

I'm not asking you to take your clothes off

Though it is much appreciated

I want you to feel sexy in your vulnerability

Let me caress your self doubt into self affirmation

I want to explore your body's wonderland

Find the buried treasures

That make you feel beautiful

Like chord progressions,

Like love songs,

Like fore play

Let me play for you

Songs that make your heart open

The touch that makes your mind wander

Wondering how I know where you like to be touched

Its kinetic energy

I'm drawn to you like you're my canvas

And I'm your pen

You'll be my greatest work

I'll call you my Starry Night,

Then cut off my ear

If that means you'll feel beautiful

Like portraits of the abstract,

Like poetry in its purity

Like seeing God,

Beautiful

30 days, 30 Poems: Day 4

So I have been writing just don't have internet access at the crib, so this is where my problem lies. But I have poems four through eight that I'm about to post as I haven't done one for today yet. As always, enjoy and feedback is greatly appreciated..

Day 4: A Poem for my Son

If I never say I love you enough, I'm sorry

I know I'm not the man you need me to be

Or the man I know I can be, but I'm with you

I'll never forget you or what you mean to me

So don't let anyone draw conclusions for you

When the storm clouds form & the rain starts to fall

I hope you feel my love in the wind

I hope it carries away those empty feelings

Those lonely feelings

And I know words aren't actions

But don't think they aren't important

So it's important for you to know that I think of you as often as I breathe

And I know I'm not perfect, I won't pretend to be.

I still remember, listen to the sound of the wind

If you can hear it, listen with your heart.

To the whispers that will comfort you,

Just listen, to the howls of the wind,

Let it remind you of a time when everything was peaceful.

I remember, the feelings, all of them

Good and bad, right and wrong,

You will feel them too.

Know that storms come & go but the wind,

The wind moves thoughts & emotions & sends messages

So you are not alone because I'll always be in the wind

Whether its a summer breeze

Or the eye of the storm, thinking of you

Wanting you to learn to move like the wind

Be strong but gentle

Felt but unseen

Known but not understood

Son I just want you to think free, like the wind.

30 Day Poem Challenge... Up Through day 3

Happy new year... Yeah I know its April but its my first post since forever and a day ago. But I'm back because April is National Poetry month. I know I missed Black History month and Women's History month but hey what can I say. My goal is to post 30 poems in 30 days. I will try and post everyday the poem I did so to catch up with the first four days of the month.

Day 1: April 1, 2012            Haiku:

She moves fluidly with the music,

Her steps are as graceful as time

Day 2: April 2, 2012            Haiku

Free speech is a right not to be taken lightly

Think before you speak

Day 3: April 3, 2012          Free Write

Let's Talk, take a minute to focus on words.

Not too careful, not too care free

Say what you mean to me. Don't think

Just say, what feels right pour soul into each word like

It will represent who you'll be remembered as

Don't think, just say what's on your third eye's mind

Just be, like chords that show more theory

Than Big Bang's or conspiracies

Don't think,

Let words flow through, speak to who you dream to be

Even if you aren't sure who that is.

Don't look back on previous lines

They've gone pass like time never goes back

Let the past be the past.

Stop trying to write for audience members

Who will never fully understand what you mean

Just speak, make sure to choose your words wisely,

They shape other's lives.

When you say things, they listen

Listen to your thoughts

But don't think. No censorship because everything has purpose

Ask God, be true to who your core responds to

In moments of anxiety and fear

Do what your gut tells you to do.

Be faithful by taking chances

She's always worth it,

Everytime.

Being random is worth every line.

Don't write because you have to

Write to be free,

Write to be focused

Focus on the things you say.

Say them with dignity and determination

Say them with passion and purpose and prose

Remember being revolutionary has multiple meanings

So don't think, just write.

Choose your words carefully

As if they will be how you're remembered.

Speak with dedication and desire

Empathy and inspiration

Love and understanding

Because we are all just poetry in motion,

A walking mass of words

Energy that's combustible

To set the world a blaze and leave trails

For others to see what all we really gave

To think about the words we say

So don't think, just be

Who ever you are meant to be

                     

Let Me Hold Your Hand

I know what you're thinking, because I'm thinking the same thing... What took you so long? I have been on a hiatus to say the least, and while I haven't stopped writing, I have gotten out of my writing "groove" so to speak. So this is me getting my "groove" back.

This post was inspired by my training class at work, I recently shared some poetry with them and was explaining how I was asked to write a poem for a lady about the love she has for her significant other and how while I was intrigued by the idea, I had no idea on where to begin or how to convey her feelings for a man that I know nothing about. So, naturally I've been giving her the run-around about when the poem is going to be finished because one, I haven't begun and two its hard to write a poem when all I have to go off of is his blue eyes and her undying love. Basically, I'm trying to make sure the poem doesn't suck because I have a reputation to uphold, even if it is a small reputation. Anyway, as I began writing this piece on like Sunday or Monday of this past week, I thought about how a simple act of holding hands could mean so much, which brings me back to my training class. One of the ladies said something to the effect of we do a lot of things with people, but we don't hold hands with everyone. Which I would say is true. I can't begin to think of the last time I held someone's hand that wasn't my son or a family member or someone whom I really meant to hold their hand. In some ways holding hands is even more intimate than having intercourse with someone.
There are so many different emotions that go along with holding hands from being scared and needing to feel safe and secure, to being made to feel wanted by your loved one. Which brings me back to the poem for this lady (I know I'm going the extreme seneic route but its been a while since I've been here) I want the poem to convey all of the feelings she wants me to convey through the act of holding hands. I just feel this would be an awesome love poem so with that said, I began writing this like Sunday or Monday and by no means is it finished and it didn't even come out the way I wanted it to. I can't decide if this is a poem or lyrics to a song (Re:Evolution anyone?)

So I will share what I have because I have been meaning to blog for the longest time, hope you all enjoy and leave some feedback and/or comment and thanks for reading, I really appreciate you.

It's been a while,

since we had this time to talk,

to think, to say,

the things we really mean to say

It's been a while,

I remember the day infatuation

faded away

And we were left staring

At the truth of one another,

and there was nothing left to say,

but baby let me hold your hand

Stand the test of time with you,

together we can shine if you,

just let me hold your hand

These questions that I ask of you,

are merely a reflection of who you push me to be,

hopefully I push you too,

out of this plane,

so that we finally learn

we can fly,

But if we should fall

I promise,

I'll be there to hold your hand,

the entire way to the ground,

I'll be grounded when you need me to be,

a silly dreamer if you want that of me,

I'm not asking that you fall for me

I'm simply asking that you

let me hold your hand,

When life's disappointments are too much for me

or nothing goes how it's supposed to be

and when I'm not strong enough

to stand

Baby won't you let me hold your hand

I like how you're not impressed so easily

and the fresh perspective of life you see

But one thing I want you to understand,

we weren't meant to be alone

so let me hold your hand.

Love in the 4th Person

This post came to me after looking at some old poems and some friends Facebook pages. (No I wasn't cyber stalking, this time lol) but it reminded me that when we love for selfish reasons, we can not accept selfless love. The poem that I'm going to post was written probably six years ago. Earlier today I wrote an apology on my FB page that said "I apologize for loving you selfishly, I thought it was selflessly, its funny how similar the two are." That was intended for a certain person but she doesn't believe it and I can't make her. Maybe I should have said it to her directly but I thought its better served for everyone to see because I can think of multiple times where I have loved selfishly under the guise of unconditional love. Hope you guys enjoy this piece as I've never read it for anyone or shared it with anyone. Oh and I also got some help from some co-workers of mine from my Hartford days. Anyway here goes;

She kissed me with the same betrayal as Judas did Christ
Lacking serendipity to escape being deceived twice
She penetrated my mind like the crown of thorns penetrated His head
She pierced my side, feet and hands like the nails they used to
Hold Him to the cross

She crucified me
Said her heart was broken
and living wasn't an option

I opted to stay up, not able to sleep
Something she said plays on my mind
Like a song on repeat

I didn't see the signs
I knew she was heartbroken
Still in love with the one she said kept her breathless
He said she kept him breathless
Touched his mind, body, spirit

They connected from the mind,
To the body, and
Soul mates they were

And here I was in the middle
Three's a crowd, not company
What's comforting is
I want her to be happy

But not with him

She said she loved me unconditionally
Except for the fact that we were raised differently
I told her I was raised to see sunrises and sunshine
But to know the rain was never too far behind

So I had a melancholy outlook on love
She said she had the same outlook on life
But we gelled together like a Thelonious Monk song
Round Bout Midnight

So far off time
But perfectly in time
We were perfectly in line
For the next note
The next moment in time that's imperfect

Re: Evolution of Love

I'm back and even though I haven't posted in weeks it feels good to be back. I'm working on a new poetry project entitled The Re:Evolution of Love. Ever since I completed my first project Morning Service I wanted to do an album of love poems and songs. This is what the new project is going to be. But putting it together has been more eye opening than I thought. First I was just going to take some of the poems about love that I already had and make backing music to them but then I got the idea to make sections, three in total Eros, Philia, and Agape. Each set of poems within the section will describe the feeling of the particular type of love. As I was/am going through my archives I am finding things out about each type of love that I had not known. I'm also finding out things about me that I didn't know. To say the least this project is a struggle, from finding music that is moving to writing new material I'm finding it difficult to get it out, but I know its in there. So I began to look inside myself and my surroundings to see what the problem is.
 This journey where ever it leads me, I feel like on the other side I'm going to be a changed poet, a changed person and have a renewed spirit.

I'm beginning to no longer believe in the notion of love as it pertains to romantic relationships. I have no one to blame but myself for letting it get to this point. Its easy to fall into infatuation with some one, its hard to love them and almost impossible to have that unconditional type of love for a person. I fooled myself into thinking I had achieved this for a person but that was before the "end" of our time together. I thought not caring was the same as loving unconditionally but I was wrong. Not caring in itself is self-sabotage to truly loving when you break down the reasons for not caring.

For me it was "well if it doesn't bother her to treat me this way, it doesn't bother me to act apathetic towards her" but what I really was saying was "I'm upset that you aren't loving me the way I want to be or deserve to be loved." I know a lot of times when people think of Eros they immediately think of physical, sensual, erotic, sexual love. In my opinion it also is selfish love meaning we give our love selfishly. For instance, "I love you because you do this or that for me, and if you stop doing those things I won't love you anymore." Its like we have to have a reason to give love, make it beneficial for us.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying this is a good or bad ideal, I'm just saying that it is. So, how do we transcend to loving more selflessly? This to me is partially what the Re:Evolution of love is about. Showing the different types of love, the different phases of love and the transcendence we all have inside of us to love differently. For me, I want the listeners of this project to feel like," yeah I've been there," but to also feel that after listening they have the power inside them to love differently, more effectively and most of all more fully.

Hopefully it won't take me too long to complete this project but I will make sure that you get your monies worth and hopefully it will be something to talk about that changes the way we think about love, loving and being loved.

Peace, J

  Love Poem #9 by jtruth

Highlight or Theory, That is the question

So I already wrote this once and because my computer sucks I lost everything I had. With that said, I'm going to keep this part short. Be on the lookout for my artist spotlight with Ms. Dani Cook poet, author, all-around awesome human being and also check out her album Dysfunctional Dysmemberment on either I-Tunes or Amazon (here). This poem was just finished last night thanks to a beautfiul spirit that inspired me. I'm not sure what I want to name this poem but I've narrowed it to either "Highlight" or "Theory" you all can let me know what you think and offer other suggestions. Here goes nothing.

There's something in your eyes

That makes me wanna know your mind

There's something in your mind

That makes me wanna know the time

And place best suited for this race to your heart

You know the one where

I'm wanting to win it over

You want to keep it from being broken

I know at times love gets lost in translation

Though I'm not saying I'm in love with you

But your words flow like water

Out of my mouth

And into existence

See I believe in you faithfully

While technically we haven't met

You've indoctrinated me

So I'll attest to your teachings

Just lie to me like you mean it

Tell me the truth like it will set me free

Let me belive, what I want to believe

Like I believe in your beautiful spirit

Your kind soul

That, smile that puts my whole world on hold

And even though we've never met

Our energies have crossed paths

And I'm a new being

But don't you dare ask me if I'm heaven-sent

And I won't ask if you're from there

You're too truthful to be human

Too humanly beautiful to be angelic

It must be the God in you

Because you know my heart so well

And although I've never physically been in your presence

Whenever I'm mentally in your presence

I feel connected

And the highlight of my day is when I

Step into my train of thought

And you just so happen to be there

One day I'll gather the courage to ask your name

And we can have this conversation in person

That sounds so good,

In theory



Hope you guys enjoy this. Thanks for viewing.

Peace

Chain Letters and the Like

I know it has been quite a while since I've posted but I haven't had constant access to a computer and internet in said time. With that said, this latest poem was/is inspired by a chaing bbm (black berry messenger) that I received tonight. I won't put the message here but let's just say that my poem will explain almost every type of chain letter/email/text. So without further ado, here goes nothing.

I don't see how raising minimum wage in 2008 is going to help me

I mean inflation helps keep me knee deep in debt

So no matter how high minimum wage gets

I still can't afford that Phantom I seen on Trade and Tryon street

Much less alleiviate the stress I feel when creditors keep calling me trying to collect

They ain't getting no money

I ain't trying to get rich quick

I'm trying to get shit done in life

I'm trying to get shit done right now!

Time is money and I don't have much of either

Just a mouth full of ether

Lungs filled with S.A.R.S.

And blood that is lethal

To put it plainly, I'm sick

Not sick like Wolly Vinyl on the mic or

Not sick like CP Maze with metaphors

Sick like you get when you hear another child's body has been found

In a back alley way beaten and raped by a two-time

Convicted child molester

Or sick like you get when you played the lotto all week

Just to see the fifty bucks you spent on tickets

Go to somebody in Iowa, who just hit the jackpot for $450 million

Now all you can think about is how you can get away with robbing and armored truck

Because you just realized your college degree provides you just enough

Opportunity to be over-qualified for flipping fries

But not enough experience to get that $45,000 a year job that you were

Promised when you entered college

As you try and survive your BS nine to five

You also realize that your dreams come true

Through the passion you place and the faith you have in them

Not some dumb chain email that sells

"You've been visited by the wish fairy"

Send this to twenty people in thirty seconds

And the one you secretly love will suddenly realize

They love you, when you've really been held back by

This restraining order

Or the, "send this to 500 of your closest friends

And something amazing will happen to you

Twenty minutes after the 500th person finishes the last sentence

And passes it back to you

Or the, "number one through Z, in the first three

Pick your favorite colors and closest friends

Then pick your favorite month, followed by your favorite seasons

And make a wish

Then send this to eight people you don't know

Wait three days at whatever time you opened this email

AND SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN"

Or my favorite, if you delete this email

It means that YOU hate God

And He'll never forgive you for kicking Him out of your inbox.

Which makes sense because I know for a fact that

God checks His reply messages daily

So the next time you receive a message that says,

"THIS REALLY WORKS"

Do me a favor

Slap the shit out of your co-worker

A Valentine's Day Poem

I have to admit, I'm a sucker for pretty eyes and a pretty smile

But I'm a mess for a beautiful spirit

The total package and your sometimes wild side

Enhances the attraction

Yeah, I like my ladies a little feisty.

Crazy even.

I'm talking leaving bricks through windows

Because I was on the phone with my momma too long

I'm talking sleeping with one eye open

Because she jokingly said

She would cut ya balls off pa'tna, and

You know she doesn't play

I need to know you love me.

Write me a "love letter" out of newspaper clippings

That make me feel on top of the world, but also

Watch my back because

I don't know which hedge you will jump from behind

Girl you are fine,

The type of fine that makes heroine

Sound like a really good idea,

The kind of fine that makes you

Steal another poet's lines... Twice

Make me a believer,

A believer that my health would be in serious jeopardy

If I even thought about opening the door

For an old lady to pass through,

A believer that I best not pretend to ask the waitress

For another glass of water

Or find myself missing

And I know you cursed out my sister

Because you thought she was trying to get in my car

When I was just giving her a ride home.

But that's the type of love you give me

That real love,

That something I can feel love

Even if it is a knife to the arm

Or a frying pan to the back.

So baby don't worry,

I got your back

And that little three to five year bid

For "keeping it real" won't break us

Because I'm pretty sure

That no matter where I go

You'd find me...

And that kind of scares me

So I'll be there every visitation Saturday

Flowers in one hand, a shank in the other

Cause I wish a mother fucker would

Try to break up this good thing we have

Morning Service

What's happening good people its been a minute, in any event I am excited to say that I am offering my first spoken word project, Morning Service available to you guys for FREE! You can get it here. So make sure you check it out and send me your comments.

Since this is a digital download I am going to do my album credits and Liner notes here for your viewing pleasure, especially for my music nerds, here goes nothing.

Intro - Produced by Kevin "24K" Wearren for Bottom Street Productions. All words by Kevin "24K" Wearren. Recorded at Bottom Street Studios, Southport, NC by Jamaal "Revolutionary J" Cowan. Mixed by Kevin Wearren

Writer's Block - Produced by Kevin "24K" Wearren for Bottom Street Productions. All words by Jamaal "Revolutionary J" Cowan. Recorded at Bottom Street Studios, Southport, NC by Kevin Wearren. Mixed by Kevin Wearren.

A Poet's Dream - Produced by Kevin "24K" Wearren for Bottom Street Productions. All Words by Jamaal "Revolutionary J" Cowan. Recorded at Bottom Street Studios, Southport, NC by Kevin Wearren. Mixed by Kevin Wearren.

Drunken Thoughts - Produced by Allen "Snake" Weaver for U.S.A. All words by Jamaal "Revolutionary J" Cowan. Recorded at Bottom Street Studios, Southport, NC by Kevin Wearren. Mixed by Kevin Wearren.

Mama Said - Produced by Jamaal "J-Truth" Cowan for Bottom Street Productions. All Words by Jamaal "Revolutionary J" Cowan. Recorded at Mall's Crib, Charlotte, NC by Jamaal Cowan. Mixed by Jamaal Cowan

For Symone - Produced by Kevin "24K" Wearren for Bottom Street Productions. All words by Jamaal "Revolutionary J" Cowan. Recorded at Mall's Crib, Charlotte, NC by Jamaal Cowan. Mixed by Jamaal Cowan.

Communion - Produced by Kevin "24K" Wearren for Bottom Street Productions.

Preach Tonight - Produced by Kevin "24K" Wearren for Bottom Street Productions. All words by Jamaal "Revolutionary J" Cowan. Recorded at Mall's Crib, Charlotte, NC by Jamaal Cowan. Mixed by Jamaal Cowan. Preach Tonight contains a sample from "The Preacher" as performed by Bobby Womack. I assume Mr. Womack wrote the song and I hope I don't get sued for this because I have no money and I'm giving this album away for free.

The Emergence - Produced by Jamaal "J-Truth" Cowan for Bottom Street Productions. All words by Jamaal "Revolutionary J" Cowan. Recorded at Mall's Crib, Charlotte, NC by Jamaal Cowan. Mixed by Jamaal Cowan.

Whatever It Is - Produced by Kevin "24K" Wearren for Bottom Street Productions. All words by Jamaal "Revolutionary J" Cowan. Recorded at Mall's Crib, Charlotte, NC by Jamaal Cowan. Mixed by Jamaal Cowan.

Tru Blue - Produced by Jamaal "J-Truth" Cowan for Bottom Street Productions.

Good Morning, Heartache - All words by Jamaal "Revolutionary J" Cowan. Recorded at Mall's Crib, Charlotte, NC. Mixed by Jamaal Cowan.

Its Yours - Produced by Allen "Snake" Weaver for U.S.A. Words by Jamaal "Revolutionary J" Cowan, Allen "Snake" Weaver, Kevin "24K" Wearren and Jamaal "CJ" Byrd-Cowan. Recorded at Bottom Street Studios, Southport, NC. Revolutionary J hook recorded at Mall's Crib, Charlotte, NC. Mixed by Kevin Wearren and Allen Weaver, additional mixing by Jamaal Cowan.


Album cover designed by Kevin Wearren.
Insert designed by Jamaal Cowan, photo taken by Allen Weaver
(c) 2007 All Rights Reserved.

Thanks: First off thanks to God for all things being made possible. Thanks to my parents Howard and Betty for encouraging me and supporting me even when I didn't make the best decisions. Thanks to my big sister Aywanna for encouraging me, supporting me, housing me, being my advisor and even kicking my butt when I need it. Thanks to my big brother Drew for always having my back no matter what. Thanks to Kev for all of the hard work we put in to this and so much more music, we haven't even scraped the tip of the iceberg, but we know what we working on. Thanks to Hammer for giving me the title and executive producing this journey. Thanks to Al for allowing us to vibe with him on so much music, dude you are the truth. Thanks to my Bottom Street cohorts past, present and future. Thanks to my man Steven Carter for giving me my first copy of Fruity Loops which reignited this journey. Thanks to the Concrete Generation for allowing me to get down with y'all early and often. Special shout out to Bluz for putting me on to spoken word I can honestly say you are my mentor. A secondary shout out to Tavis "don't call me Silky" Brunson, though we rag on each other I appreciate you bruh and don't let this go to your head but you're one of my favorite poets. A third special shout out to LaShonda for listening to me at work and pushing me to touch my dreams and make them a reality. Last but not least thanks to everyone that has given me words of encouragement and support my art even when I don't if I forgot you don't worry there is more music on the way.


Look out for new tracks from me and my man 24K in the near future, also I am working on a new spoken word CD, I'll keep you posted.

Peace J

From Trash to Treasure

What's up good people,
                As I was going through some papers that I had "filed away", by that I mean were stacked together in a plastic bag in my room, I found a poem that I wrote on 12-19-2005. I know that seems to be such a long time ago, I had just recently graduated college in May of 2005 I had gotten my first "real" job in November of this same year and I was living in my first apartment. I don't really remember if I wrote this for anyone in particular but I read it and I like it, it may even make my next spoken word project. (I know what you're saying, do you have a first project, and surprisingly the answer is yes). In any event at this time in my artistic development I didn't title a lot of my poems and my reasoning at the time was something to the effect of, "I don't want my words to be confined in a box by a title" how lame was that? Most of my work didn't have titles because I could never think of anything creative enough and didn't like simply naming it using a line from out the poem, I wanted something deep, meaningful. In any event I will allow you guys to decide what this poem should be called you can leave comments on my Facebook wall or my email or here or my twitter (imallyg) if you want.

Mesmerized by an unidentified beauty

Highly identified as the one to seek

I seek thee first before the Kingdom of heaven

And that's blasphemous

So hallelujah to your amen and I'm not religious

I'm just a man mesmerized by a beauty

The Mother Mary must have seen with her eyes

Hypnotized by hypnotic eyes that keep me at bay

With their seductive stances

Glances that say more than words can manage

And maybe I'm day dreaming

Maybe I'm not

But I cannot get this woman out of my head

And into my car, plus

She's far too advanced for the far too

Simplistic advances of a man who

Puts too much Em-phasis on his

money or his car, she got both

Most don't know how to deal with a woman

who handles her own work because

They can't feed their own ego's

With the need of an insecure woman

Her insecurities came from the infidelity of her father

And that pushed her farther away from men

To the point she tried women for a change

But found when it comes to love

Men and women are much the same

So the games she play

Arose from the pain she saw

In her mother's crying eyes

So she sacrifices her body

To protect her heart

Rejected attempts to slip her

Defense Systems and touch her soul

Leaves Beauty with a

Cold, empty feeling

Despair displays daily

From her soul's windows

To the projection screens

Of anonymous individuals

That will never know her name

Beauty's brain games brought the beast soaring out her pores

Scarring scores of men with a mark that's

Undeniable and unforgettable

But Beauty's a survivor right,

Right?



New Year, New Poems and New Random BS

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! I know its been way too long since I've posted stuff but I needed a sabbatical of sorts. (In other words, I didn't know what to write about) So I hope all your 2011 goals and dreams come true if you're working on making them reality. I didn't make any new years resolutions this year (well I made one, go to my Facebook page for more info on that) and I have good reason, we are all ever-changing, ever-evolving creatures therefore, resolutions are made daily, you're never the same person twice.

So my goal in the new year is to bring some new topics to this site along with some new poems and what better way to do that than to refer you to some of my old blogs on Myspace. Now I know what you're thinking, Myspace is still a functioning site? And surprisingly the answer is yes. So go to my page (I even made it easy to do all you have do is click on the link and you don't even have to log in) and read some of my blogs from 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 & 2009. And while you're at it check out my other Myspace pages here and here and also check out my reverbnation page. But really I just wanted to say I'm going to write about the things that's important to me, music, poetry, sports, music, poetry, politics, music poetry, random nonsense, music and poetry. So for this entry I am posting a poem I wrote probably two or three years ago and I came across it as I was writing yesterday and thought I would share. It doesn't have a title but when I ran across it, it speaks to how I'm feeling at the moment and what I'm dealing with.

I have known loves like Langston Hughes has known rivers

The Euphrates, the Nile
I have known sorrows like the Mississippi
Love is ever changing but always staying the same
And I'm not equipped to handle this.
I mean I could handle this if
I never met her or I met her and she wasn't my other half
But I did and she is and, I'm supposed to be a man about it.
Does that mean I can't cry when my whole is divided by half and
I don't want to be broken again.
What I mean to say is I don't want to be open again,
Open to the possibility of being half the man I've grown to be
I've grown to see that it is easier to say we are broken than
I'm ill-repaired, I'm not together, but I'm getting there
Just like its easier to leave than to have an honest conversation
Because honestly, how many of us can be truthful with ourselves much less another person?
How much less of another person do we absorb before we begin to realize they are no good for us?
I'm guilty too, guilty of what all hopeless romantics are guilty of
Giving so much of ourselves that we've forgotten the things we want and need, Guilty of being in the need of love, guilty of loving someone who doesn't love us But love is ever changing and always staying the same,
until then I'll be waiting for her to come my way again

Hope you guys enjoy.