Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Truth or Dare

This will be short and to the point...

So if you are a follower of me on Twitter (@mallogy) or a Facebook friend, you may know about my recent rants on the happenings at work. My department is being "downsized" and we were informed last minute and were asked to make a decision almost as suddenly as we were told.

My initial reaction was to have everyone just walk out because the audacity of this company to wait until the last minute to inform us of something that is life impacting and then not allow its employees, the people who make the company run, adequate time to adjust to said change is quite maddening in my opinon not to mention utterly confusing. Anyway, as I posted my frustrations and talked with various people I came to an understanding, (mostly with the help of my sister and a co-woker) sometimes change happens to see where your heart is. By that I mean, I've been saying for some time I was ready for a job change and I'm ready to pursue my art more intensely but I keep/kept finding reasons not to put that at the forefront.

For instance, I have a spoken word CD and have had it together for quite some time now. I was planning on pressing and releasing this CD in October of last year but I could never get the money together to pay to have it printed, which is just an excuse because I would always find extra money to go out or buy fast food or buy a game or whatever it is I wanted to do but never to do the one thing I claimed I wanted to do. So in light of the recent "changes" at work I had a discussion with my sister and she said something that stuck with me. I was telling her about a co-worker who gave me advice to use the situation as "a catapult...the door is open" I took that a step further and was like this is God's way of testing me if I truly want and believe in my art, my sister took it a step further and said "do you believe you can make it and if you do what makes you believe you can make it, and if not, what makes you think you aren't good enough?" That statement made me focus on me, see a lot of times we use God as a crutch to NOT do things when we are uncertain and need a "sign" to go forward or not to go forward. If we don't have to take responsibility for our actions then we can justify and have something to blame if/when we don't succeed when in actuality it is our decision one way or the other.

The Universe, God, in my opinion is an open vessel or portal where we can speak things into and out of existence. Sometimes when we want something, The Universe, God, presents us with an opportunity to grasp what we seek though it may not be in the form we wish it to be in and because of that we tend to take it as a sign that we should or should not take action. My advice is be careful what you ask for because you just may get it. If you have faith in something as unsubstantial as money, which is created out of thin air, why not have faith in yourself to be happy.

Peace, J

- To get something you've never had before, you must do something you've never done before -