Love in the 4th Person

This post came to me after looking at some old poems and some friends Facebook pages. (No I wasn't cyber stalking, this time lol) but it reminded me that when we love for selfish reasons, we can not accept selfless love. The poem that I'm going to post was written probably six years ago. Earlier today I wrote an apology on my FB page that said "I apologize for loving you selfishly, I thought it was selflessly, its funny how similar the two are." That was intended for a certain person but she doesn't believe it and I can't make her. Maybe I should have said it to her directly but I thought its better served for everyone to see because I can think of multiple times where I have loved selfishly under the guise of unconditional love. Hope you guys enjoy this piece as I've never read it for anyone or shared it with anyone. Oh and I also got some help from some co-workers of mine from my Hartford days. Anyway here goes;

She kissed me with the same betrayal as Judas did Christ
Lacking serendipity to escape being deceived twice
She penetrated my mind like the crown of thorns penetrated His head
She pierced my side, feet and hands like the nails they used to
Hold Him to the cross

She crucified me
Said her heart was broken
and living wasn't an option

I opted to stay up, not able to sleep
Something she said plays on my mind
Like a song on repeat

I didn't see the signs
I knew she was heartbroken
Still in love with the one she said kept her breathless
He said she kept him breathless
Touched his mind, body, spirit

They connected from the mind,
To the body, and
Soul mates they were

And here I was in the middle
Three's a crowd, not company
What's comforting is
I want her to be happy

But not with him

She said she loved me unconditionally
Except for the fact that we were raised differently
I told her I was raised to see sunrises and sunshine
But to know the rain was never too far behind

So I had a melancholy outlook on love
She said she had the same outlook on life
But we gelled together like a Thelonious Monk song
Round Bout Midnight

So far off time
But perfectly in time
We were perfectly in line
For the next note
The next moment in time that's imperfect