I'm back and even though I haven't posted in weeks it feels good to be back. I'm working on a new poetry project entitled The Re:Evolution of Love. Ever since I completed my first project Morning Service I wanted to do an album of love poems and songs. This is what the new project is going to be. But putting it together has been more eye opening than I thought. First I was just going to take some of the poems about love that I already had and make backing music to them but then I got the idea to make sections, three in total Eros, Philia, and Agape. Each set of poems within the section will describe the feeling of the particular type of love. As I was/am going through my archives I am finding things out about each type of love that I had not known. I'm also finding out things about me that I didn't know. To say the least this project is a struggle, from finding music that is moving to writing new material I'm finding it difficult to get it out, but I know its in there. So I began to look inside myself and my surroundings to see what the problem is.
This journey where ever it leads me, I feel like on the other side I'm going to be a changed poet, a changed person and have a renewed spirit.
I'm beginning to no longer believe in the notion of love as it pertains to romantic relationships. I have no one to blame but myself for letting it get to this point. Its easy to fall into infatuation with some one, its hard to love them and almost impossible to have that unconditional type of love for a person. I fooled myself into thinking I had achieved this for a person but that was before the "end" of our time together. I thought not caring was the same as loving unconditionally but I was wrong. Not caring in itself is self-sabotage to truly loving when you break down the reasons for not caring.
For me it was "well if it doesn't bother her to treat me this way, it doesn't bother me to act apathetic towards her" but what I really was saying was "I'm upset that you aren't loving me the way I want to be or deserve to be loved." I know a lot of times when people think of Eros they immediately think of physical, sensual, erotic, sexual love. In my opinion it also is selfish love meaning we give our love selfishly. For instance, "I love you because you do this or that for me, and if you stop doing those things I won't love you anymore." Its like we have to have a reason to give love, make it beneficial for us.
Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying this is a good or bad ideal, I'm just saying that it is. So, how do we transcend to loving more selflessly? This to me is partially what the Re:Evolution of love is about. Showing the different types of love, the different phases of love and the transcendence we all have inside of us to love differently. For me, I want the listeners of this project to feel like," yeah I've been there," but to also feel that after listening they have the power inside them to love differently, more effectively and most of all more fully.
Hopefully it won't take me too long to complete this project but I will make sure that you get your monies worth and hopefully it will be something to talk about that changes the way we think about love, loving and being loved.
Love Poem #9 by jtruth