Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Fear Unknown

So last night I had a dream about a friend that I haven't spoken to in a while, too long in fact. The dream woke me out of my sleep at 2:30 in the morning. It was one of those disturbing dreams that feel so real, you can smell and see everything around with vivid clarity. In my dream, my friend and I had fallen out of contact much like in real life, but that happens sometimes life takes us all in different directions. In my dream, my friend was in an abusive relationship, in real life I suspected the same thing as a matter of fact I seen how they interacted during the time my friend and I were "real" friends. Now, I can't say how their relationship has grown but in my dream it hadn't grown much. My friend was someone who was and is very dear to me, I care about her a lot but we weren't able to be friends. I couldn't call to see how she was doing, you know just regular friend stuff. In my dream, things weren't as bad, they still argued and things but there was no physical violence. People began noticing the change in her demeanor and the bruises and how she always had some excuse for them. Somehow these people came to me for help. I didn't really want to get involved because I didn't want to be wrong or I didn't know what I could do, but I did anyway because domestic abuse is something that I don't tolerate. By the time I got involved their "small" arguments turned into pushing and shoving and punching and hitting. My friend had decided she had enough and was pursuing another man, I don't know who new guy was, but her old boyfriend caught wind of her "transgressions" and of course he was enraged. This is where my dream became frightening. The setting was a banquet or a cookout or some social gathering that we all happened to be at the same time. In real life, this would never happen, but in my dream this was the case. Anyway, at some point they began arguing and my friend's boyfriend slapped her in front of everyone. And he just kept slapping her and punching her in the face, in the chest, in the stomach. He literally beat her to within an inch of her life. It was like everybody there was so shocked to see it happening that no one did anything. So the ambulance, came she got better and it was like everyone knew what was going on but nobody would do anything. So I couldn't stand that nothing was being done about this guy, no arrest, no slap on the wrist absolutely nothing. I decided that I was going to do something about this, so me along with my cousin went and basically gave this guy a dose of his own medicine. That's when I woke up. If you know her, tell her that I asked about her.

Domestic violence is not something that is an easy conversation to have but if you or you know someone who is being abused, I would urge you to get assistance because nothing is as bad as losing your life. If you don't know what to look for here are a few signs that could be warning signs of domestic violence;

* Isolation
* Controlling finances and withholding money
* Preventing employment
* Hitting, pushing, choking
* Forced sexual contact
* Threatening
* Use of a weapon

We all have the power to help someone by just letting them know we care about them and letting them know that we are thinking about them and they matter to us. Domestic violence comes in multiple forms it is not always physical, sometimes its mental and emotional as well. We also have a new epidemic I feel in the realm of domestic violence, which is bullying in middle and high school as well as college kids. Cyber bullying whatever you want to call it is a form of domestic violence. Please let's educate ourselves and save some lives in the process. Here are some links that can assist in education and participation with this matter.


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